ITS NOT OVER


Before I start off, I would like to wish all of you a wonderful new year and I hope you all nothing but the best in this upcoming year.

Who believes life remains the same for a couple after your first child? I am here to tell you, it will never be the same. I remember going thru pregnancy wondering why was it that everyone around me always mentioned things changing? I felt like my relationship was rock solid and I felt lucky enough to think things would stay perfect. Boy was I wrong.

Things changed instantly. Not just because we became parents, but also our relationship itself. Intimacy did a 180 turn for us, affection was thrown out of the window. And it wasn’t about “us” anymore. The other day I remember sitting there reminiscing about how our relationship used to be. How you used to randomly hug me, and tell me you love me. And now I think, when was the last time he hugged me?  We would always talk about how we would give it our all to remain the same with each other but it seems the more we try, the more we drift apart. Now is this normal? Hell yes!

These things happen all the time! The only difference between couples that separate and couples that make it is, they keep the spark alive. No relationship is perfect, it’s not always a walk in the park. But if you really want it to work it’s a team effort. My relationship definitely needs ALOT of work but don’t we all? The key is not giving up on each other. Even if he makes you want to pull your hair out, just take a deep breathe, go for a walk, and remember why you love him. And if you can’t think about it, than obviously you’re not meant to be but that’s another story for another day. 

Some days I think….. is this meant to be? Am I forcing it? Am I just doing this for the baby? But than I remember that life is not easy. Things will get better. As much as I believe I have a lot going on remember that so does he. And being understanding is key. Every relationship is different but as long as there is communication and consideration things will be ok. It’s normal to doubt your relationship and ask ” is this going to work out?” The actions that you take is what matters. A lot of women also say, “well if he doesn’t hug me I’m not going to hug him either!” I totally get that but again, its team effort. If he isn’t trying and you don’t try either, there will be no winning for the both of you. Maybe he feels that you’ll attack him if he shows affection? Who knows. If you love him don’t give up. I see a lot of couples that still love each other and are broken up or seperated and I asked “if you would be able to do something different what would you do? And I always get the answer ” I would stick it out and try harder.” When shit gets tough we want to give up because we are tired, we are overwhelmed and upset but if we communicate and let the storm pass we would make better decisions.

Yes a child makes a relationship 100x worse but it all depends on how we handle the situation. And hey, maybe it doesn’t get worse for everyone but for the ones who were as unfortunate as I was, hang in there. I guarantee you that it will get better just be patient and enjoy the little one in your arms. Time for the both of you will get better just don’t give up on him and don’t push him away. If it’s true love, it will shine again.

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I QUIT!

i-quit

how many mommies out there feel like they are soo ready to say “I QUIT! “? Not to being a mom in general but saying “i quit” to everything else. if so, you are not alone. I cant stress enough about how difficult life gets when becoming a mommy. One of my biggest problems is adjusting to being a Stay-at-home mom. Before Liam came into my life i was working as a veterinarian technician and i was doing it for 7 years non stop. i also had my own petsitting side business were i had my own clientele and i was visiting 2 to 3 houses a day. I started fairly young. I got my very 1st job when i turned 15 and i never left. I went from working 50 to 60 hours a week to staying home with the baby. By far, the hardest thing I’ve had to adjust to the 24 years I’ve been on this lovely planet.

All my life i’ve wanted to be a mommy, so im happy, but the situation im in makes it difficult. Im sure all of you already know the challenges that comes with having a child. Everyone around you all of a sudden become experts in how to raise a baby. Everything you do is “possibly” wrong to their liking. If your child sneezes, he has a very bad cold. If he rubs his ear, he has a bad ear infection….name it, ive heard it. Im very anal when it comes to what my son eats, (e.g, not drinking whole milk {hes too young} not having sweets, and fats) strictly fruits, veggies, grains, bread here and there. Hes still adjusting to baby food, cereals, baby rice…..and i have people offering him cookies, whole milk and ice cream when i am not looking which, c’mon…..a taste is fine. I mean what harm can that do, but at 9pm? Anyway…im sure you catch my drift. its very difficult to have your own way in doing things 24/7 and someone comes in whenever they want and try to change it. As a mother i’ve changed soo much. I am very sensitive when it comes to my son and i am very easy to upset. im not the only one, right?

The other difficulty is dealing with your significant other. When you get pregnant you believe that you will get all the help in the world, but not all stories are fairy tales. my boyfriend works most of the time so its only me. Which i dont mind, but im sure you all have seen the commercial were the mom or dad are sick and they walk into the child’s bedroom asking for a day off and the child looks at them like if they’re crazy…..that’s my life. I dont get to take naps whenever i feel like it and i dont get to just get up and leave as i please. Than you deal with your in laws, with your relationship issues because we ALL have them, and than we deal with problems we have within ourselves. its ALOT to take in. no one is perfect and not all days are a walk in the park.

If most days you just want to take your baby and dissapear, your not alone either. sometimes i want to explode but ive learned a few tricks to ease my mind and think that this is only temporary and that things will get easier. One of the things i do is go for a nice long walk. Fresh air will definitely help, and it’ll distract your mind. Exercising also does the trick for me. going for a nice jog, doing aerobics, and even Zumba will give you enough cardio to distress yourself. finding a hobby and doing something that you enjoy will also help. Before starting this blog i was having a very hard time finding a hobby or something that i enjoyed doing to help time pass a little faster. My hobbies that i originally had are impossible to do with a 9 moth old and no vehicle. Such as hiking, shopping, going to the beach, site seeing etc. I had to find something else to do with my time once baby and chores are taken care of.

Finances are also a major struggle. its very difficult to go from making a great full time salary to nothing at all. Instead of combining 2 salaries now we are only living off of 1. I have come across a couple of stay at home jobs but of course you run the risk of the offer not being legit. I also get alot of offers from moms who sale dieting supplements or make up. Im all for doing work at home for extra income but unfortunately i dont think those types of jobs are for me. Ive looked at my options like Younique, Itworks, Avon, Marykay etc. but i dont think itll work for me. if you guys have any options that you believe actually work,feel free to share them in the comment below and id love to look into it…..so moving along with our original topic all of these factors make it very difficult and it makes us want to just scream out I QUIT!!! Yes, it is very hard, and ive come very close, i mean inches away from pulling my hair out but than i think….is this all worth it? than i look at my son and i tell myself, for him….its all worth it. So im here to tell you ive been thru hell and back and im still here giving it my all. If i can do it, so can you. You dont have to be a mom to struggle, we all do. Im here to tell you that it’ll all get better and to hang in there. unfortunately we have to go thru the shitty storm to see the rainbow.

What to do…🤔

Good evening ladies n gents, today I would Like to tackle the topic of what to do at home when you’re a stay-at-home mom. doing chores and taking care of your little one is a given. for you and baby not to feel coooked up inside what do you normally do? in the video I mention how I normally pet sat and how it’s difficult now that I’m a mother. with only one car and a working hubby, I’m very limited. what would you recommend to do to stay occupied.? after chores and cooking of coarse. I enjoy cooking breakfast and dinner. that normally makes me happy. but when all of that is done I like to keep occupied  and the baby is only getting more and more curious. I also love to do things that’ll include him satisfying his curiosity. I also enjoy giving time to myself. doing my make up and hair make me feel good inside and I highly recommend it. even if you don’t have a boo to impress. Do it for yourself. take a #selfie once in a while. Make a #duckface and do your make up just because. being a mother is definately a 24/7 job but  never forget that giving yourself attention is also important. love yourself and remember that nomatter what you are beautiful ♡

Going back to our original topic keeping get ourselves and our little ones busy is a challenge. share with me what it is that you do. share your story with me.

#mom #momlife #mommystyle #baby

please watch the video were this topic will continue

 

 


When your little one gets a hold of your makeup 😣

I’m sure we all know the struggle of thinking our make up is perfectly safe in a safe spot and we turn around and it’s destroyed! I have a 9 month old now, and boy is he adventurous! he gets into things, and sometimes I think, how did he get a hold of that! I’m sure we can all agree it’s a major  struggle to get ready when you have a toddler crawling around and getting into everything. So when I do my make up, I normally sit him near me and give him toys to distract him with. I give him toys and put his favorite cartoons on. it’s either a hit or miss. I know he is either going to get into all of my makeup and  try to eat my brushes or he’ll play with his toys and watch his “toonies”. 99.9% of the time it will be A miss. most of the time the 15 minutes I take to get ready are critical so I give him something from my make up bag to distract him. but of course, giving in always comes with a price. he has gotten into my brushes and has broken one of my favorite bronzers 😣. even when I know time is very limited for ME to get ready I try to use the little time very wisely because I know any minute, my boyfriend will be coming into the room saying “let’s go, it’s getting late.” I’m sure the more we do it, the more we will get used to quickly making ourselves look flawless on top of just saying ” the hell with it” and just walk out with a bare face. that was definately the option for me. But than I started realizing that feeling beautiful definately makes a difference in our lives. yes it’s a struggle but it can be done. and you’d feel soo much better ♡

Why a blog? Well…..

Why  a blog? Well….

Hello readers, welcome to my blog. The reason why i started, or am thinking about making this a hobby is because, well when i have free time, why not share my stories with you all. I am a first time mommy of an 8 month old and man is it tough. For a while now I’ve been trying to think about ways i can reach out to you and make a place were we can all chat and share our crazy stories. God knows we have a whole lot of them! Also, as a mommy who has time to worry about making ourselves look pretty right? well, im here to tell you its all possible. How we feel, and our self esteem is a big part of keeping ourselves feeling beautiful and amazing. which is why i decided to give my blog the name Being a mommy & beauty. Feeling good about ourselves is a must. Of course no ones lives are perfect and we all need that someone to be there for us when we need help. That is the main reason for me wanting to make this blog. So i can have a chance in being that someone were you can feel free to ask questions and even just want to talk about a specific subject, i am here.

 

The ex girlfriend 😠

I’m sure soo many of you have experienced something negative with the ex. Wether it’s an ex boyfriend/girlfriend. Sometimes dealing with them comes with the package especially if your significant other has kids. I want to share a recent experiance of mine with the ex girlfriend 😣.  If you have read my recent blogs I’m sure you would have already learned that I am a stay at home mom. Before the pregnancy I worked for 7 years as a veterinarian technician at a very busy animal Hospital. Saying that, I’m used to working. It has been a very big part of my life. Due to breast feeding and the lack of having someone trustworthy to take care of my son I’ve had to leave my job to be a full time mommy. One day, as my son was asleep I looked on Indeed and for some reoson I just had the urge to update my resume. And so I did. The next day I got a call from a call center wanting to schedule an interview. I thought it was wierd because I didn’t have much experiance to qualify for a call center rep. I have more hands on experience drawing blood etc. But I didnt think too much of it. I tell the rep that I will have to wait for my fiance to come home to discuss the situation. She says “no problem” and that was that. The next day I get another call from the same call center. She seems a little more pushy this time and asks if I have talked to my fiance. I say no, and tell her that I will call them back if and when I make a decision. She said ok, and hung up. In my mind I’m thinking that normally when places want to hire they aren’t as insistent because they have plenty of applications they go thru. But again, I don’t think much of it and let it go. Now moving on to another story, both stories will combine shortly 😏. I get along very well with my fiancé family. We spend alot of time together and of course they met the ex, before me. They mention her here and there and tell me crazy stories about her. (She wasn’t liked much) one of his cousins tell me that the ex had recently contacted her via instagram asking questions about my fiancé.  Like how is he doing? Is he happy? Etc. The cousin ignores her of course. The ex sends 2 more of his cousins friend requests back to back over and over again as I’m sitting right besides them. I have to admit, I got really upset. A week before she had sent me 4 friend request in a row so in my mind I’m thinking she’s really nosey and desperate. As im Sitting there seeing his cousins deny her request AGAIN I got livid and decided to send her a nice little message on facebook. She seemed like she needed answers so I gave them to her. I’m not gonna go too much into detail on what I wrote in my message but I told her how it is. She responded angrily of course and she said that she was the one whom was Contacting me for an interview! 😐😣😟 when I read that I was soo upset. She knew it was me, the girlfriend.  She went out of her way to than contact my fiance  (her ex) and ask him why I don’t work. And why I don’t want an interview. Like really? How bad of a psycho are you? To go out of your way, Find my info, than try to schedule an interview! Of course me and her continued to go back and forth in the messages and she later tells me that she, herself in engaged. Ok? Than why are you bothering me, contacting my man, and trying to do psycho shit (excuse my language). I was going nowere talking to her so I blocked her. I was waisting my time. It’s insane how someone can do this. Are you unhappy? Miserable? Why try to cause drama? I got a nice little laugh out of this,well, after being upset 😣

So, this was my crazy experiance. What’s yours?

 

 

Missing him….

So today, I want to talk about something slightly different. Of course with being a mommy, you have your significant other. Being a mommy is hard work but when your boyfriend/husband travels for work, it makes it 10x harder. My boyfriend works for a union and travels for work. Sometimes I see him daily, sometimes he’s out for a week or even longer. Having your partner travel is hard because you feel like a piece of you is away. My son loves his daddy, he video chats and smiles every time he hears his voice. And it kills me inside because I know his dad wishes he can experiance every little thing the baby is doing. It also gives us a chance to get spark back into our relationship. When seeing eachother every day it doesn’t allow you or him to miss eachother. And sometimes that’s all a relationship needs. When you are together 24/7 fights start to happen, you start wanting to want time alone etc. 2 months ago we were both working from home and of course we wanted to eat eachother alive. But I believe everything happens s for a reoson and sometimes change is good. But everything comes with a flaw. Nothing is perfect. If you have your significant other traveling for work when you’re at home tell me how you deal with it. Tell me your story 🙂