I’m gonna miss you little 👶

As much as I enjoy watching my 11 month old grow. I’m gonna miss him little. I’ve always enjoyed the little things. Pregnancy was amazing for me. Of course morning sickness isn’t fun, or the pains and pressures. But, he was Good to me. Compared to the terrible stories I would hear about pregnancy, my pregnancy was a walk in the park. Labor went as smoothe as I could’ve ever imagined. Than, he was finally here. He was a beautiful 8 pound 21 inch gift from god. He was also a wonderful baby. He latched on instantly and preffered being breast fed over a bottle. Which I wanted. He was never fuzzy, or colicky. He would only cry when he was hungry and he would sleep all night. Other mothers I would talk to, made me paranoid to have my little one but he made momma proud. Little by little he was growing. At his 1st week his umbilical cord fell off, than his new born skin started shedding off and he was amazingly soft. He was getting bigger and bigger and it seemed like every day he was learning and doing something new.

Weeks passed and he started holding his head up, than rolling over and he enjoyed “tummy time” for the most part. Than he began to do mini push ups and at 5 months he began to sit up, shortly after began crawling. Seeing him crawl made it seem real to me that he wasn’t my baby anymore. I knew that shortly after that, he would start cruising then walking. I knew that he would no longer be as “dependent” of me as before and I instantly became emotional. Not because I don’t want him to grow or anything of that nature, but because my little baby was becoming a toddler and he would soon be preferring to be on his own. I knew that he was gonna become more curious and would prefer being adventurous than to be held by mommy. I had never felt so excited, happy, and sad at the same time. Watching him become his own little person made my love become stronger and stronger. His personality is slowly shining thru and I’m always telling my boyfriend….” can you believe WE made that?” As we stare at him in awe. Every day there’s something different. Now he’s a 24 pound 11 month old that walks more and more proficiently without holding on to hands or walls.

I know that growing is a given but to me, I feel like it’s happening too darn fast. Maybe I’m just soo in love with the fact that I’m his, and he’s mine. And I want that to last forever. I can’t wait to see the little man that he will become but I’m going to miss all of the little things. Like him falling asleep on my chest, him holding my finger as he’s breast feeding, him wanting me to hold him as he’s napping and him opening and closing his hands to tell be bye bye or to come here. I know these beautiful gestures will continue for years to come, but him being an 8 pound 21 inch baby has definately changed and that’s what I miss the most. But he’s my little being and I couldn’t be more proud of the little angel I was given 😇.

 

 

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It’s Not always rainbows 🌈 and unicorns 🦄

When I found out I was expecting, man was I the happiest girl in the world. To me, it was a dream come true. No one was able to bring me down. As a little girl my dream was to become a mommy. I remember carrying my dolls around with me pretending they were my baby girls. And to satisfy my imagination my father would buy me the baby dolls, the strollers, the toy diapers etc. As I got older and older my obsession with being a mother only got worse and worse. When I became “of age” the baby fever never went away but than of course I was more mature and careful. As much as I knew I wanted a baby, I knew that I wasn’t ready. So I would entertain the idea with loving my niece and nephew just as much. They were my distraction for a few years. Until of course, my dream came true.

At the age of 22 I met the man of my dreams. He was like no other, well, in my eyes that is. There where never any arguements, he treated me like a queen. Every relationship has its ups and downs but we had more ups than anything. When I became pregnant it was a surprise. We weren’t trying but we would always talk about how we’ve always wanted children. With the pregnancy things started to change. At first for the better, than of course it started shifting for the worst. I was always told that babies change relationships and I always told myself, no way! We love each other so much nothing will change it, ever. If only I knew what I know now. Our love for each other, I guess you can say, still exists but it isn’t about US anymore. From the idea of the baby coming and of everything that had to be done, US was kind of put on a shelf somewhere. 

Than finally baby arrived. And it’s a boy!!!! I was the happiest mommy in the world. I’ve always wanted a boy! So if I get blessed with a little girl, She can always have her big brother. Daddy was happy too. He wanted a girl of course but he loves his boy to death. Months passed and baby boy became 3…4…10 months old. And of course we expect parenting an infant to a toddler to be all rainbows and unicorns, but boy was I in for a big surprise. I love my son to no ending. He is all I’ve ever wanted, but sometimes I just want to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time. Sometimes I want to have uninterrupted showers to relax, And sometimes I want to just binge watch a show all day and stay cuddled on the couch. But this is what parenting is all about. The sacrifices and life changes that you have to make for your offspring. I want him to have everything and more. I was raised by a single father who gave it all for me and my brother. I admire that man to death. I want my son to look at me like that one day. To admire everything I’ve done for him. Yes, sometimes I want to just take my son to a baby sitter and be selfish for once. Sometimes i want to leave him and shop and treat myself and not have to worry about if he’s fed, if he needs changing, if he has his movie on, or if he’s getting into anything he isn’t suppose to. But than I think, no. All I need to be ok, is that he’s healthy and happy. “Me time” can come later. I changed my whole life for him and I want him to have it all. That’s what makes me happy. As long as he has a smile on his face my whole world makes sense..